How can I pull myself together to make self-care a priority?
Watch Listen Read Oh that is such a hard question, because we know what others tell us that we need to be doing in order to be able to gain traction and momentum in our recovery. We also feel good after the fact after we do it. So why don’t we do it? There are […]
Do you recommend spouses finding some sort of accountability partner for our boundaries?
Watch Listen Read I love that because the answer is yes. Addiction is about boundary failure and as partners, we have a difficult time holding boundaries. So this is where if you are in a betrayal trauma group, which you guys really in effect are with each other, put your dailies out there and hold […]
Each time I get my feet back under me, another relapse happens. Should I just stop asking or looking for clues until he’s out of recovery?
Watch Listen Read Oh, that’s so hard, and I know that everybody in this group can relate to that feeling of feeling like you’re just back on your feet, and then here comes another one. What I would really recommend along the way are these trust discussions. The check-ins that you’re having, those fast check-ins […]
Is my anger normal?
Watch Listen Read Okay. So this question is about anger and responding to this question of is my anger normal? And it sounds like some shame around surrounding anger. I love normalizing that how normal, healthy, and allowing yourself grace to feel sad, angry, grief, whatever it is that you’re feeling. I want to add […]
Is the end goal just management?
Watch Listen Read Is there an end to all of this? The question states, am I going to have to continually work to avoid doing these things, looking back over old stuff. Is the end goal just management? There’s so much pain in the comments on this thread about looking back on the memories that […]
Why is it that I feel more safe when I keep my feelings inside and I feel worse when I identify and express them to someone?
Watch Listen Read It’s a vulnerable thing. It is vulnerable to, to share your feelings. Of course you feel more safe keeping your thoughts and your feelings to yourself. But, that’s a lonely place to be because with making that choice, you can say I feel safer holding it in, that I feel like I’m […]
How can I overcome feeling overwhelmed?
Watch Listen Read I’m smiling because I love the way that this group is coming together, responding to one another saying, “me too”. Feeling overwhelmed. What I would say to feeling overwhelmed is stated a lot in the replies to one another, but one of those is make your dailies, your recovery, make them small […]
How can I not be easily duped and not feel stupid?
Watch Listen Read The question is, I am so easy to dupe. I think one of my negative beliefs was that I was dumb for not trusting the signs. So what I want to tell you, that too was one of my go-to beliefs of, I am so stupid. And I would realize once I […]
Can these ingrained negative beliefs keep you stuck unknowingly where one would need something like EMDR to release them?
Watch Listen Read The answer to that is absolutely yes. When you said I’ve had negative beliefs, like I’m not enough for over 60 years, those are deeply ingrained beliefs that are not true. And EMDR will allow you to recognize some of the experiences that have shaped those beliefs. And, for me, my marriage […]
How can I change my beliefs that I have about addicts?
Watch Listen Read I love this next question about how can I change my beliefs that I have about addicts. It was such an honest question, a vulnerable question, which truthfully speaks more to the pain that you have had with addicts in your life than it does about the addicts and their behavior. When […]