I have to no one to share my shame with. How can I not be embarrassed by that shame?
Watch Listen Read No one to shame share, I’m too embarrassed. Okay, who even can I get to be like my shame partner that I can talk about shame. The first place is recognizing when it is that you’re feeling it. You’re talking about an experience that you had in junior high that was really […]
Are there specific books, resources, or guiding questions that you use in your shame group?
Watch Listen Read So first I would like to say, anybody who would ever like an online shame group, I would be first in line to want to run that group, so plug for group. In response to the questions, what resources do we use for that group? It is a resource for therapist’s so […]
What is the difference between shame and self-esteem?
Watch Listen Read The primary difference between shame and self-esteem is self-esteem is a thinking exercise. We think self-esteem, we think through, I graduated from BYU, I studied this, we think through our self-esteem we can, it’s a thinking exercise. Shame occurs in the limbic part of our brain, which you know, that is when […]
Why do I feel shame within my family?
Watch Listen Read Our family of origin, unfortunately, can be a large source of shame in our lives. And it sounds like in your case, what is deeply painful is the same patterns keep reoccurring, the pattern between your mom and your brother. And this is why it’s so crucial to understand the emotion of […]
Am I in denial?
Watch Listen Read Am I in denial that I feel shame around not telling my family, but I also know it’s the right thing. Am I in denial? I am so thrilled by the women responding. You are not in denial. Trust yourself. You are smart. In disclosing to family members, we tell you to […]
Can I learn to accept my body image?
Watch Listen Read You bring up one of the issues that I would say almost all, we’re not able to really say all because there are a rare few exceptions of women who do not struggle with body image, but almost all women struggle with body image and with beauty body image, aging period. But […]
Why do I feel more humiliated than I do shame from my husband’s actions?
Watch Listen Read I think I feel more humiliated than I am shame that I’m feeling shame from my husband’s actions. And I think it’s important to distinguish the difference of humiliation versus shame. Humiliation is a different emotion you feel like outrage, like I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve this. Where shame you […]
How can I overcome feeling like I am disposable?
Watch Listen Read I actually got teary when I read your question, because I said those very same words. I said to my mom, I feel like just the garbage that got taken out, just disposable. I feel disposable and unlovable and it’s so heartbreaking. When you’re saying, “I didn’t do these assignments. I just […]
How can I decrease the amount of checking and all of the self-defeating behaviors and yet not limit it entirely?
Watch Listen Read I know these things are keeping me stuck, but really the question is, but I’m not ready to eliminate them a hundred percent, because it sounds like while husband is doing better, there are still some dishonesties. So it’s, how can I decrease this amount of checking and all of the self-defeating […]
Is it normal to have intrusive thoughts of my husband sexually acting out?
Watch Listen Read What I want to say to you is, you are three months into recovery and you are already recognizing, you’re saying I have vivid images that are triggered, and you’re saying you’re stopping, checking yourself, realizing that they’re imagined, and is it normal? I’m like, holy cow, that’s not normal. You are […]