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I know these things are keeping me stuck, but really the question is, but I’m not ready to eliminate them a hundred percent, because it sounds like while husband is doing better, there are still some dishonesties. So it’s, how can I decrease this amount of checking and all of the self-defeating behaviors and yet not limit it entirely?
What I would really recommend in response to that, is to set boundaries around like, I will allow myself to check his location. Set some boundaries for yourself as to frequency, and maybe setting a boundary with, I will allow myself to check after I have gone through journaling, breathing, after you’ve done some self-regulation, some of the other things first if I still feel the need. So I would set some boundaries so that you don’t feel like you have to eliminate that entirely, they still make me feel safe, but I don’t want to be too tied for them because then I know that it’s self-defeating. So hopefully that helps.