How can I get me? Love me? With the same or better energy that I spent investing in him. And how can I make sure I won’t lose myself again?
Watch Listen Read I want you to think about, at least for me, the amount of energy that you put into reading, thinking, worrying about your husband with his betrayal. And think about if you even put in half that amount of energy with connecting to yourself, the relationship that you would have with yourself. […]
What if the loves are losses?
Watch Listen Read The question is what if the loves are losses? First, I just want to speak to your pain. And when you said this is all hidden, and I don’t have friends or want friends anymore, I distance myself from my mom, everything is just too painful, you sound very much alone. And, […]
Under what circumstances would you advise sharing the list of your losses with your spouse?
Watch Listen Read My response to that is in all circumstances, I would want them to know the impact that this experience had on the individual who has struggled with the betrayal. Whether you stay married or you get divorced. I would suggest that under all circumstances, you share the list of losses so that […]
Boyfriend is a Mother Enmeshed Man and Mother-in-Law is trying to sabotage our relationship and I feel bullied.
Watch Listen Read Mother enmeshed men support for partner asked by. I took the mother enmeshed men course on bloom, thank you so much for this, and we have been reading the Kenneth M Adams books. So my boyfriend and I discovered he’s an MEM and I discovered he has developed a porn addiction from […]
What is the best way for me to communicate with my Mother-in-Law so she treats me with respect and I don’t say anything wrong at the same time?
Watch Listen Read So the question, what is the best way for me to communicate with her so she treats me with respect and I don’t say anything wrong at the same time? Oh gosh, like that question breaks my heart because there’s no way to do that. There’s no way to make sure that […]
I have been struggling with extreme anger with my husband because of all the lies he is telling me.
Watch Listen Read So dealing with anger. Hi, I’m really struggling with anger at my husband for all of the lies he has told and things he has done. I’m trying very hard not to lash out because I know it isn’t effective. But sometimes I just feel like it’s unfair that he doesn’t get […]
How will I be able to face a future storm if I can’t recognize it?
Watch Listen Read My husband has been very active with his recovery from his pornography addiction, with reading workshops, therapy groups in developing his faith since D-Day 2, a little over two months ago. My future storm worry is a relapse, since he is so new to recovery. Right now, he’s very optimistic and excited […]
What do you do when you have tried to tell your spouse how they make you feel and it either falls on deaf ears or they turn it around on you telling you that you shouldn’t feel that way?
Watch Listen Read Keeping the faith that, that turning it around, you shouldn’t feel that way is turning you on your own emotions. And I do feel that would be my response, whatever that is, I still feel that. And you say I shouldn’t feel that way. How should I feel then when X, Y, […]
If I’m being a Buffalo, how do I handle a bad reaction from my spouse?
Watch Listen Read Earlier I talked about asking a question. Sometimes buffaloing up is asking hard questions and then just listening. So buffaloing up is not just strong all the time, sometimes it’s, I’m feeling disconnected, I don’t know what to do with it. So you continue, whether it be defensiveness, gaslighting, anger, shame, or […]
How can I find the strength to follow through with my boundaries even though my husband breaks them?
Watch Listen Read I got strong, made boundaries, and a year later, my husband is still breaking them, which is tiring this little Buffalo gal out. I uptake the boundary if he breaks them, which was recommended by my CSAT. Our next boundary break is a healing separation, and I am finding that storm to […]