Can you recommend specific techniques for overcoming being flooded during the day from thoughts or situations that reminds me of my husband’s behavior?
Watch Listen Read The specific technique when you’re flooded, I would let me offer a couple more here. I might take a breather and do a mindfulness meditation, I can listen to a guided meditation, you might go visit tarabrach.com where she has many mindfulness meditations guided meditations. When you’re flooded, you might do a […]
How do you move forward when your spouse is deep in shame and lacks empathy and remorse?
Watch Listen Read If you’re, if they’re in shame and lack empathy your question of moving forward is first of all, it’s going to be focusing on your healing because if you want him to, or your spouse to hold that pain, they might not be ready. They’ve got to do their work so they […]
How can I get these recurring thoughts and images out of my head?
Watch Listen Read I have recurring thoughts and images multiple times a day, and I get so angry. I conjure up so many scenarios in my head that I literally have to stop and say out loud, think what you are thinking about, just stop. I’ve never been one that doesn’t take care of my […]
Can journaling help with a lifetime of memories?
Watch Listen Read I’m having a hard time determining one event to journal about. My husband disclosed betrayal that occurred throughout our 22 year marriage. I do not have one specific memory, I’m processing an entire marriage. What we’re looking for here is you to give a language to some of these experiences. What we […]
Is there a book on boundaries that is helpful?
Watch Listen Read I want to tell you, there is a book that not many of you know of. It’s from a woman who has actually gone through this and her name is Becky Jones. Her book is Sexual betrayal SUCKS, but you got this. She has a really great section about navigating boundaries and […]
When going through disclosure, which therapists host the disclosure, the addicts or partners?
Watch Listen Read You have disclosure coming up and so I’m just taking a deep breath for you and tell you that disclosure’s a scary word, but what you have gone through, you’ve already gone through the worst of it, you’ve had the injury and you’re ripping off the bandage. So when we went through […]
Is it important to find a therapist that really gets you?
Watch Listen Read It’s more me talking again to you about the importance of finding a therapist that really gets you. And I am grateful that you put a pause on a therapist that didn’t, that you found bloom, that you’re headed into doing some EMDR work, and I really want you to continue to […]
How can I overcome feeling like I am disposable?
Watch Listen Read I actually got teary when I read your question, because I said those very same words. I said to my mom, I feel like just the garbage that got taken out, just disposable. I feel disposable and unlovable and it’s so heartbreaking. When you’re saying, “I didn’t do these assignments. I just […]
Is it normal to have intrusive thoughts of my husband sexually acting out?
Watch Listen Read What I want to say to you is, you are three months into recovery and you are already recognizing, you’re saying I have vivid images that are triggered, and you’re saying you’re stopping, checking yourself, realizing that they’re imagined, and is it normal? I’m like, holy cow, that’s not normal. You are […]
How can I pull myself together to make self-care a priority?
Watch Listen Read Oh that is such a hard question, because we know what others tell us that we need to be doing in order to be able to gain traction and momentum in our recovery. We also feel good after the fact after we do it. So why don’t we do it? There are […]