When going through disclosure, which therapists host the disclosure, the addicts or partners?




You have disclosure coming up and so I’m just taking a deep breath for you and tell you that disclosure’s a scary word, but what you have gone through, you’ve already gone through the worst of it, you’ve had the injury and you’re ripping off the bandage.

So when we went through our CSAT training and it sounds like you both have CSAT’s, we were trained in our CSAT training to actually have both therapists there. Now, I don’t know if that is what you want to do, but that is how we are trained to have both therapists there so that you both feel that measure of, you have somebody there that has your back. Truthfully, I’ve always done disclosure just with myself and not the other therapist. I think the most important piece is the partners therapist, because I want you to feel, I just did disclosure last week and having been a partner, I was really attuned to her and being able to stop and say, are you okay? Do you need to take a breath? Do you want to go get a drink? Do you need to stand? Do you want take a minute? So I just want to make sure, the most important thing, you are the injured party, you are the one that needs someone attuned to you. He’s stressed, but he already knows everything he’s going to share. But you are the one who needs someone tuned into you that you feel really safe and that you feel like they’ve got you.

Something that I always do is I have the betrayed that I’m working with. I have them have somebody there with them, like at the clinic that takes them, usually, I tell ahead of time I say, let her go to a hotel, let her have some time. You go home and take the kids or whatever just to make sure you have time and space to really heal and process. So just make sure that this whole disclosure plan is centered around you feeling safe and protected. And best of luck to you, this is going to be a really, really great new beginning to have no more secrets. So really proud of you.

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