Developing safety and connection through internal and external boundaries

In this class you’ll learn the background, science, and relevance of breath-work to help heal from betrayal trauma. Specifically, using breath-work to manage the trauma symptoms of anxiety, stress, physical and emotional health. JR will guide you through actual breath-work and will help you develop an at home practice for when the triggers come.
Is there a book on boundaries that is helpful?
Watch Listen Read I want to tell you, there is a book that not many of you know of. It’s from a woman who has actually gone through this and her name is Becky Jones. Her book is Sexual betrayal SUCKS, but you got this. She has a really great section about navigating boundaries and […]
How can I decrease the amount of checking and all of the self-defeating behaviors and yet not limit it entirely?
Watch Listen Read I know these things are keeping me stuck, but really the question is, but I’m not ready to eliminate them a hundred percent, because it sounds like while husband is doing better, there are still some dishonesties. So it’s, how can I decrease this amount of checking and all of the self-defeating […]
Do you recommend spouses finding some sort of accountability partner for our boundaries?
Watch Listen Read I love that because the answer is yes. Addiction is about boundary failure and as partners, we have a difficult time holding boundaries. So this is where if you are in a betrayal trauma group, which you guys really in effect are with each other, put your dailies out there and hold […]
My husband is a narcissist and I don’t know how our marriage is going to turn out.
Watch Listen Read Quite honestly, my husband is a narcissist. And while he may have sympathy, he lacks empathy. I can be the buffalo, turn and face the issue, and try to communicate, but it won’t really sink in. Point of fact, he’s still cheating, so I’m working on myself and don’t really know how […]
How can I find the strength to follow through with my boundaries even though my husband breaks them?
Watch Listen Read I got strong, made boundaries, and a year later, my husband is still breaking them, which is tiring this little Buffalo gal out. I uptake the boundary if he breaks them, which was recommended by my CSAT. Our next boundary break is a healing separation, and I am finding that storm to […]
How can I overcome feeling like I’m a buffalo in a cow pen?
Watch Listen Read Any thoughts, tips, or advice in dealing with situations where you feel like a Buffalo in a cow pen. Family or friends, not facing problems, pushing responsibility off onto you, misplaced blame. I’m guessing this would fall under boundary work, just so hard when you feel like it’s up to you to […]
The Flood or the Fan

Self care doesn’t always look like a massage and pedicure at a vacation resort. Sure, sometimes that is exactly what it means, but I am seeing that taking care of myself more often looks like saying “no” to a project that sounds exciting, but doesn’t quite feel aligned with my purpose. When we practice letting ourselves be still, and tune into our internal compass, it becomes easier to recognize what self care should look like. Remember that at times, in order to be spared the flood, we have to get quiet. And listen.
What Do I Need? Reconnecting to Your Personal Needs

Often in the busyness and the business of our days, we become disconnected from our bodies and our needs. When we finally get some time to breathe, our bodies will start yelling to get our attention. Here are some quick questions you can ask yourself to check in with your personal needs.
Please Put the Oxygen Mask On Yourself First

Most of us don’t know how to trust ourselves anymore, but our bodies and souls still know what we need. It is expected and needful that we put our own oxygen mask on first. We can’t help and love others if we are dying from lack of oxygen. This truth sunk deep into me as we took off for Arizona.