Can I ever forgive a betrayal that caused so much suffering?
Watch Listen Read It’s been six months since I discovered that my husband was heavily into pornography. I’ve moved out of our home and I’ve started to calm down with yoga, meditation, therapy, You Bloom. Going back to work on Wednesday, we started a new couples therapy session where we went through the story all […]
My husband is a narcissist and I don’t know how our marriage is going to turn out.
Watch Listen Read Quite honestly, my husband is a narcissist. And while he may have sympathy, he lacks empathy. I can be the buffalo, turn and face the issue, and try to communicate, but it won’t really sink in. Point of fact, he’s still cheating, so I’m working on myself and don’t really know how […]
What should I do after I turn and face the situation with pure emotion since my spouse doesn’t respond effectively?
Watch Listen Read When I’m the Buffalo with my husband, he will listen nicely, but his lack of empathy and concern leaves my cup half empty, and I feel like I didn’t get anywhere in our relationship progress. Being a Buffalo doesn’t mean that you’re going to progress, it means that you’re going to be […]
How do I muster the will to be a Buffalo in tough situations?
Watch Listen Read Feel angry and self-righteous, and don’t know how to change. When I watch the videos, I definitely see how being a Buffalo is good and addresses issues head on. But every time I think about my husband’s acting out with other women, which I had no idea about, I feel angry, scared, […]
How can I encourage my husband to find meaningful help without controlling him?
Watch Listen Read I found this workshop very helpful for my own recovery journey and have told my husband about it and encouraged him to seek out help through your partner page path for men. He has done a few self guided courses and shared some of his answers that I noticed that they were […]
How can I rebuild my marriage when it feels like I can’t trust my husband?
Watch Listen Read I feel I used to be a Buffalo and now I’ve become a cow. Since D-Day, my husband denials and trickle of information make me feel like a cow when it comes to thinking about putting things back on track, so to speak. I don’t feel like a mirror dropped on the […]
How can my husband recall or explain his physically acting out?
Watch Listen Read Dr. Skinner a previous week someone asked about intrusive imagery, wondering exactly what physically acting out looked like, how it occurred, what was the conversation, etc. You recommended a full therapeutic disclosure, but in my case, and probably most others, these are the details that will never be known. My husband had […]
How can I manage my anger towards my husband?
Watch Listen Read This is my third time through You Bloom, I’m glad you’re with us. Each time I take it, I learn new things. One of the things I haven’t yet learned is how to manage the anger I feel towards my husband. I am four years post D-Day. Although it is said, it […]
What do you do when you have tried to tell your spouse how they make you feel and it either falls on deaf ears or they turn it around on you telling you that you shouldn’t feel that way?
Watch Listen Read Keeping the faith that, that turning it around, you shouldn’t feel that way is turning you on your own emotions. And I do feel that would be my response, whatever that is, I still feel that. And you say I shouldn’t feel that way. How should I feel then when X, Y, […]
If I’m being a Buffalo, how do I handle a bad reaction from my spouse?
Watch Listen Read Earlier I talked about asking a question. Sometimes buffaloing up is asking hard questions and then just listening. So buffaloing up is not just strong all the time, sometimes it’s, I’m feeling disconnected, I don’t know what to do with it. So you continue, whether it be defensiveness, gaslighting, anger, shame, or […]