Is there a way to face the truth without it taking all the work on my recovery away?
Watch Listen Read I like the idea of future casting and preparing for it. My husband took drugs during his porn sessions and really doesn’t remember anything he has done. When COVID settles, we have agreed to do a therapeutic full disclosure with polygraph. He is preparing the full disclosure in the meantime. I have […]
Can you give a few examples of preparing for the future trauma and what it might look like in a healthy way?
Watch Listen Read Yeah, what I would do is I would take an experience, an event that triggers you. And I would want to forecast how you have responded and then I would want to take that same experience and come up with a different response, creating a boundary, saying no, taking a timeout, talking […]
If my husband insults me in front of our therapist do I stand up for myself or let him speak his perspective?
Watch Listen Read Long story short, his brain became addicted when he was 11 years old, we have already been through one episode of him becoming increasingly distant, angry, blaming, silent, and he then had an affair. We managed to get through that with talk therapy, that we were both very naive about. Meaning we […]
What kinds of ongoing questions and check-ins would you recommend us doing so that one of us doesn’t slip into old patterns? And if we do slip, how can we protect our marriage in our own self so that we don’t both slip?
Watch Listen Read My husband and I recently sat down to discuss how we’ve been acting like cows these past few months. We had grown and healed so much the first year after disclosure. And then when our newest baby was born, I began to regress and struggle. As a result of my pulling away, […]
How do I face the storm when I don’t know when he is being honest and when he is not?
Watch Listen Read The big storm for me is the fear of being lied to. My husband is in active recovery for his pornography, masturbation addiction, but he has had relapses and has lied about his sobriety through these relapses until I found about them and confront him. I feel capable of working with him […]
What can I do to try to better connect with my emotions?
Watch Listen Read Feeling numb and struggling to connect with emotions and feelings. I spent a lot of time where I feel numb. I can go about my day and do my job and look after my child, but I’m in autopilot. On some days I feel like I’m calm, but the more I think […]
How will I be able to face a future storm if I can’t recognize it?
Watch Listen Read My husband has been very active with his recovery from his pornography addiction, with reading workshops, therapy groups in developing his faith since D-Day 2, a little over two months ago. My future storm worry is a relapse, since he is so new to recovery. Right now, he’s very optimistic and excited […]
How can I release the need to know what my husband is doing and feeling?
Watch Listen Read My number one struggle is what I don’t know. I’ve journaled about how much I wrestle with who else there might be, how he touched another woman, what he said to them, timelines, conversations. These things that are impossible for me to know every detail of because I’m not the other woman, […]
How does trauma get trapped in the physical body?
Watch Listen Read I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. I am depressed and I feel terrible about myself and my life in general due to my husband’s betrayal D-Day 2 years ago. And I’m definitely traumatized, and I feel pain and heaviness in my chest, clenching my jaw and shoulder, and other physical symptoms […]
How can I stick to yoga when it feels useless and like I’m not releasing anything from my body?
Watch Listen Read I’ve tried some yoga on the site and just feel frustrated, feeling like I should be doing something more productive. I can see how the focus could maybe improve my calmness temporarily, but I can’t see it really releasing anything from anywhere in the body. Again, this is just a process and […]