What Do I Need? Reconnecting to Your Personal Needs
Often in the busyness and the business of our days, we become disconnected from our bodies and our needs. When we finally get some time to breathe, our bodies will start yelling to get our attention. Here are some quick questions you can ask yourself to check in with your personal needs.
When Was the Last Time You Let Yourself Just Play?
Play, as unstructured pleasurable activity, is so often ignored by women. We so often find ourselves in unending roles of caregiving, that we ignore what really makes us happy. What makes our essential selves, the selves that existed long before we were attached to a significant other or to offspring, truly happy. We have forgotten how to play.
Please Put the Oxygen Mask On Yourself First
Most of us don’t know how to trust ourselves anymore, but our bodies and souls still know what we need. It is expected and needful that we put our own oxygen mask on first. We can’t help and love others if we are dying from lack of oxygen. This truth sunk deep into me as we took off for Arizona.
You Are Enough
I just wanted to tell you that you are enough.
For some reason, we have a hard time believing that. I just want to tell you that you are. Right here, right now, you are enough. Even if you feel like a complete mess. The epic journey of life seems to really be about learning to trust and love yourself. But that seems so hard. Here are some things you can do to start building your relationship with yourself.
Five Practical Steps To Becoming More Emotionally Resilient
Resiliency is a key character trait of people who come through hard times as stronger more compassionate people. Resiliency simply means the ability to adapt to stress and difficult situations. Now if only it were that simple to be resilient.
Living With Intention
One of the hardest things about trauma is that you feel like you are living your life underwater. What you thought was your life, actually isn’t. It’s completely different. There is a major adjustment period as you navigate through betrayal, acceptance, and healing. So how do you get out of the water and live the life that you want?
Why We Need Boundaries
Boundaries. When you have experienced trauma, boundaries are a necessity for your own personal growth and safety. A boundary is setting an expectation with clear definitions of what you can and cannot handle. A good boundary identifies what is your responsibility and what is not. Boundaries can be especially hard to set with our family and friends, especially when disfunction already exists.
Change Your Thoughts, Change Your World
It isn’t surprising that one of the most consistent self-care techniques for women navigating trauma is to use self affirmations. The toll of emotional and/or physical abuse from someone in a position of trust is devastating. The subconscious mind begins to believe the negative words it hears every day. In order to change the negative thought patterns and heal from the constant triggers, you have to reprogram your brain.
Do The Things
When you have been through trauma, social unrest and social energy can deeply affect you. You have probably become hypersensitive to cues and moods. If you spend too much time online or watching the news, you can get pulled into a deep sadness. It is very easy to give in to desperation and fear. It’s like how a small baby or the family pet always knows when something is wrong and then acts out to express the inexpressible. You are not crazy. You are not a mess. You are responding to your environment. The way to change things, to get some relief, is to change the environment.
Climbing The Mountain
I stare down at my tennis shoes. I am poised at the edge of the sidewalk. Before me the dirt path winds up the mountain. Straight up. So far the trail has been inclined, but not too crazy.
Here is where things get harder.