A few years into Jeni’s marriage, she stumbled along her husband’s pornography. When she confronted him about it, she was first met with denial, which changed to claims that “this is normal” and “every man does this.” Although it hurt, Jeni moved on and learned to cope with the reality of her husband’s regular porn use – until she found out that he was being unfaithful as well. Once Jeni realized the truth behind all of the lies and coverups, she kicked her husband out of their home.
“I was numbed out.”
“I felt alone.”
“I felt confused – why would he treat me this way?”
“I was comatose.”
“I wanted to wake up from this nightmare.”
“My husband, the man that I married, the man that I love, the man that loves me, the father of my children, the father who caught my babies, who built my house… that man… betrayed me.”
At first, Jeni was afraid to tell anyone – including her best friend and her children – what had happened. A common emotion that results from betrayal trauma is feeling completely alone – that you are the only person who is experiencing something like this.
As Jeni began reaching out to other women who had been through similar situations, she saw how common it was for these wonderful, talented, beautiful women – including herself – to be questioning their self-worth. She thought back to all of the times she felt less than and not good enough as she compared herself to the images in her husband’s pornography, and she began to realize that it wasn’t just her husband who needed help – that she needed, and deserved, to heal as well.
“I decided to seek help… because I was traumatized.”
Overwhelmed by the thought of starting over as a single mother, and enraged by the sight of her husband’s clothing, Jeni knew it was time to seek help to deal with all of the emotions she was feeling. With the help of therapy, yoga, and her close friends, Jeni began the journey of healing from her betrayal trauma.
Her therapist taught her not to be afraid of the pain and emotions – that they needed to be walked through in order to get to the other side. Jeni began to see the blessings behind teaching her daughter important lessons like forgiveness, setting boundaries, and openness to change.
She also realized how much she was living her life according to what her husband or the world deemed “right,” and relearned how to trust herself and her own needs again.
“I am evidence that things will get better… I know it can be done.”
After nine months living apart, Jeni welcomed her husband back in their home. They began the process of rebuilding – not just their marriage, but their own individual selves – and in doing so they started experiencing a deeper, more loving connection than they had ever felt before.
Although she would never wish this experience on anyone, Jeni is grateful for the lessons learned, her newfound trust in her own heart, and the loving support from her friends and all of the women she met along the way.
Bloom Guided offers a safe space for you to connect with other women, approach your trauma, and begin healing. While betrayal can affect everyone differently, having a supportive and empathetic network can be incredibly empowering. You deserve a stacked toolbox. Schedule a free consultation call today and take the next step forward in your healing journey.