How do I overcome the feeling of fakeness in my past and present life?




The feeling of feeling fake. I promise you everyone here knows that feeling of when your heart is hurting, and you’re trying to put on that brave face in the world out there, and it feels so fake. And even that is like doubly painful, trying to put on the happy face.

Oh, that is so hard. I want to tell you we all feel that. There’s a line here of when I see couples that are like laughing, snuggling. Intimate, you’re witnessing couples being intimate, like physically or emotionally. It’s painful. I think I said this last time, but when I could recognize that pain is the difference between what is and what I want it to be. When you see something that you want, you’re wondering, am I just projecting? You’re seeing something that you want, and so it feels painful because what is right now is that you and your husband are in the middle of pain and healing.

So how do I overcome the feeling of fakeness in my past and present life? What I can say to that is that won’t last forever. When you are sad on the inside, like right now, I’m still sad about the loss of my dad. And you can probably all see there’s just sadness in that. And if I try to be how I was, and it’s not really how I’m feeling, it’s exhausting and people can feel it that it’s not sincere. And so am I as bubbly and excited? No, I’m not. I’m tired, I’m sad, and it will pass. And so what I what I want to say to you is, to be curious about how you’re feeling. Be open and accepting to be able to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling, without pressure of I need to be a certain way. Accept how you’re feeling and proceed with loving kindness to yourself that you are exactly as you should be right now.

And I would suggest when you say that you go out in public, it sounds like that’s when you feel painful. I would just really encourage you to ground. Because it sounds like you’re up in your head quite a bit when you are out and about. So I would just really suggest some grounding and just a lot of loving kindness to accept, be open and curious to how you are right now and that it’s okay, and that doesn’t mean that you won’t ever be where you want to be.

Join Bloom for Women

For women seeking healing from betrayal trauma.

Join Bloom for Partners

For men seeking help for unwanted sexual behaviors.