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In thinking about some of the unwanted thoughts I want and need to move past, I’m having a difficult time as I’ve asked my husband questions about these numerous times, and I know he’s lied about them. How do I move past lies, deceit and omissions?
If he’s lied about them, that’s again, where I’m gonna go back to, you might consider having him do a polygraph an eye detect one or the other about his, whatever your concern is, did this, did you have sex with this person or whatever your question may be. And if they pass that, then we know that there are not lies, that there’s a smaller likelihood that there are lies or deception. If you’re going to be working on the relationship, that’s something that you would consider now.
A lot of people say, but you’re asking us to do some hard things. I don’t want to do a disclosure or a polygraph or an eye detect. How are you going to heal when you don’t know the truth? And if they say there’s the truth, they’re asking you just to blindly believe them. Sometimes we have to do things like that to make sure that everything is out. If we’re going to, if we’re, if we’ve got a wound, we don’t just put a bandaid on it. Sometimes we have to get everything to get it out, and sometimes that’s hard, but it’s necessary.
How do I move past lies, deceit and omissions? The real answer to that is that he would acknowledge and identify how he lied, how he manipulated the omissions and he would acknowledge those things. And because in acknowledging it, that’s taking ownership, it actually helps him heal without lies without deception. That’s one reason why I suggest an eye detect or a polygraph just to make sure that we have everything.