How can I read stories of other betrayals and not take on the pain or unnecessary anxiety from them?




Reading other stories is triggering for me and I find myself applying their story to my situation. What if my husband had an affair with my best friend or what if my husband has been with prostitutes, how do I read these stories with empathy, but not take on the pain from them or have them cause unnecessary fear or anxiety in me? I want to deal with the problems I do have and not get caught up in the scenarios that are not my experience.

It’s a really good question. If they’re too triggering, I would just focus on your story and your healing. I would watch the videos related to your healing, but if you don’t feel comfortable going in, because it’s too triggering, then I would not do that.

That’s a boundary saying it’s just too much for me. I can’t go. So really important that you make sure that you apply your, to your healing. What do I need? And that’s the question you’re going to want to focus on as you get stronger, as you feel more comfortable than you might review some of those and, be able to offer support, but for now, You might just need to receive guidance, ask questions, get support.

And that’s okay. There’s a season for giving back. There’s a season but if you get reading all these stories, what if it’s going to take you down the trigger, a worst case scenario, did this happen? Did this happen? And that’s going to be actually more hurtful to you than helpful.

And so I would create a boundary around it. I can’t do some of this right now because it’s too overwhelming for me. That would be my suggestion. Also, how do I deal with the feelings that I don’t have it as bad as others? So I don’t deserve to be struggling feeling wounded. I must be weak. I just want to reassure you that you’re not weak. Hurt, betrayal in any version is that it’s hurtful, and you’re not weak. You’re normal. I’ve done this. My research shows that many suffer percentage-wise from a variety of types of betrayals. So no, we’re not comparing, but your hurt is real. Your hurt is yours. It’s real to you and that’s definitely not weak. And so I thank you for being with us here on bloom and asking your question.

And now again, the biggest part, and I want to say this to everybody. We don’t want to compare. We don’t want to compare stories. We have different stories. Comparisons are not helpful. They just, aren’t your story. It’s just not helpful. All right. So please don’t compare folks.

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