The question is like feeling like I’m fluctuating between two people, both of whom are me. It’s like on the one sense, I know this is true, but then that feels completely not true. I 100% remember like the way you described that with feeling like you’re two people that can’t communicate to each other was spot on. I remember feeling exactly that same way. And, the difference is when I was in like the thinking part of my brain, I could say things about myself like, I know that I am smart, I know I’m a good person, I know that I am loving, I know that I am kind. I knew these things about myself, until I would get triggered, go to my limbic brain and believe I’m not good enough.
And it seems crazy because those two people it’s okay, how do you know, how do you know I am until you believe you’re not? And I think that’s, I believe that’s what you’re talking about is, when you get a trigger and you fall into that shame spiral, how does something that is true, how does it not feel true? And how does that knowing part of yourself ever communicate to that wounded part of yourself?
Now, this is where I know I talked about EMDR so much last week, but I cannot emphasize that enough to be able to go back to the origins of that belief. Because I had a lot of beliefs of, I’m not good enough, that would be reinforced by my husband’s betrayal.
Now, having said that, there were early experiences that planted the seed for that negative belief. I also had a lot of other, a lot of other evidences that proved I was good enough, but the belief was planted somewhere early. And EMDR for me is what helped really uproot that because I did have a lot of evidence proving that I am good enough. But when I was in a situation where I would get triggered and believed, from that knowing. So I just want to just say EMDR is the way to be able to have that conversation between what seems to be those two voices, what you know, and what you believe, and those two different parts of you. Having those voices be able to come together so you can thresh that out into knowing, that I matter, I know that I am enough, I know that I am lovable. Thank you.