Do you have any advice or suggestions on how I can find a balance of my extremes?




As I sat down to think about how I tend to cope, I realized I seem to be a person of extremes. I go from someone who is shutting down, zooming out, drained of energy, killing time on pointless activities, and then switch flips that no longer work and then go into high gear, deep cleaning projects, ensuring I’m getting 15,000 steps in each day, obsessively busy with my own home. Of course I burn. Do you have any advice or suggestions on how I can find a healthier balance?

The truth is you’re describing the roller coaster of betrayal trauma. And you go from shut down, overwhelmed to hyper activity. I’m going cause that gets me going. You say a healthier balance. If I were you, I would write down a list of healthy behaviors that you want to do healthy things. And I would focus on them each day. Trying to create a habit that is yours. Now, healthy habits leads to a healthier life. So I would want to focus on developing healthier habits that you intentionally want to do.

So part of this is intentionality. You’re intentionally saying that this is what I want to do. So if you want to go 15,000 steps, that’s a lot of steps every day. But if that’s what you want to do, then that’s what you’re choosing to do. Maybe there’s a different balance there, maybe it’s 10,000, but the point then is you need to identify what healthy is for you. And then intentionally try to do those things day in and day out.

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