How do you deal with triggers after infidelity?
Dr. Skinner Answers: How do you deal with triggers after infidelity?
What’s The Timeline For Recovering From The Trauma of Infidelity?
Discovering your partner’s infidelity can be completely traumatic. In fact, about 70% of women who discover their partner’s betrayal will experience trauma symptoms that parallel Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Experiencing extreme anxiety, depression, insomnia, and eating disorders. Frequently we’re asked about the timeline for recovering from the trauma of sexual betrayal. Dr. Kevin Skinner […]
How Can I Follow My Intuition?
“Follow your intuition.” It sounds empowering and liberating. But how does that actually work? What if you’re not sure what your intuition sounds like? And can your intuition be broken? Often times some of our most doubting, fearful, and negative thoughts seem to come from the inside. How do those negative thoughts relate to intuition? […]
Boundaries That Will Set You Free
“You need to set healthy boundaries.” Seems like we hear it from every self-help guru, therapist, and life coach. They tell us that boundaries will give us more freedom and improve our relationship with others. The question is, what exactly is a boundary? And how does one enforce a boundary without feeling selfish or creating […]
Yesterday Is Not Today
It’s been one year since the death of my daughter’s friend. She was only 15. She, her father and two brothers were in the car, when a drunk driver hit them head on. I have been very weepy today. Katie’s death was the 4th of someone close to our family, in the span of little over a year.
What Is My Point?: Finding Purpose and Finding Hope
“Hi, I’m Alisha and I tell the important stories.”
One of the things that has helped me through the hardest times is figuring out a point to my life, a purpose, a driving theme that isn’t connected to my roles, or job, or financial status. I used to call myself a teacher, but then I wasn’t. I am a writer, but that’s just what I do for work. I ask myself, “what is the thing that gives me life that isn’t related to money or media or my relationship status?”
The Flood or the Fan
Self care doesn’t always look like a massage and pedicure at a vacation resort. Sure, sometimes that is exactly what it means, but I am seeing that taking care of myself more often looks like saying “no” to a project that sounds exciting, but doesn’t quite feel aligned with my purpose. When we practice letting ourselves be still, and tune into our internal compass, it becomes easier to recognize what self care should look like. Remember that at times, in order to be spared the flood, we have to get quiet. And listen.
What Do I Need? Reconnecting to Your Personal Needs
Often in the busyness and the business of our days, we become disconnected from our bodies and our needs. When we finally get some time to breathe, our bodies will start yelling to get our attention. Here are some quick questions you can ask yourself to check in with your personal needs.
When Was the Last Time You Let Yourself Just Play?
Play, as unstructured pleasurable activity, is so often ignored by women. We so often find ourselves in unending roles of caregiving, that we ignore what really makes us happy. What makes our essential selves, the selves that existed long before we were attached to a significant other or to offspring, truly happy. We have forgotten how to play.
Red Lights and Deep Breaths
It wasn’t until a few weeks later it sunk in, D no longer chatted happily after pick up. I anxiously held my breath while waiting to turn left. My shoulders were tight and lifted. At times I avoided the entire intersection, adding 5 minutes to the drive, and found I was on the verge of tears at all times in a car.
We had trauma, and it was stuck in our bodies.