Welcome to our summer self care group and Move Toward™ with Jenna.
I am so glad that you’re here.
I know some people will be joining us live and a lot of people will be joining us via recording. Um, But just really, really glad that you are taking this time to take care of yourself this summer.
Um, It can be such a chaotic time with schedules changing and , uh, moms especially really, tend to carry that burden with getting kids to and fro and where they need to go. And, , um, and it can just be a really sweet time to take a couple of moments and connect in for some self care.
So really glad that you are here today.
And, what we’re going to be doing today is just walking through a brief exercise that can be really, really helpful for you when you’re noticing some activation. Um, when parts of you are kind of activated, you may notice parts that feel anxious or sad or lonely or isolated. , um, You may notice that parts of you are doing things like , uh, eating more than you would like to, or sleeping later or not sleeping enough , um, or drinking more than you would.
Like. We all have many different parts of ourselves that do and feel many different things. And, when we move against those parts, it tends to make our problems worse. So, the gift of Move Toward™ is learning how to be with those parts of ourselves, with curiosity and compassion so that they can deescalate and feel much more comforted.
So, that’s what we’re going to be doing today. And in the video review, there’s going to be a worksheet posted so you can download that easy one page guide and follow along and then use this skill um, anytime in the future that you’re noticing that you have a need to bring some self care to different parts of you.
Move Toward™ just has three simple steps, and I’ll tell you what they are and then we’ll walk through them together.
The first step is notice. We’re just going to notice what’s coming up. The second step is know, we’re going to find out what this part that is activated, wants us to know about why it’s there. And the third part is need. We’re going to find out what this part of us may need from us to feel a little bit more comforted.
So if it feels right for you, go ahead and just settle in.
I always find it helpful to take one or two slow, deep cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.
And, that slow gentle breath is a really direct way to communicate to our brains that we are safe. And then just beginning to shift your attention in word. I like to close my eyes, that helps me to focus internally, but you’re welcome to just drop your gaze or whatever feels most comfortable for you.
And then let me invite you to call to mind a part of yourself that has been really activated. Recently or that you would like to bring a little bit of comfort to.
So, this might be a part of you that feels anxious, a part of you that is controlling, that is people pleasing might be a part of you feeling sad or depressed or worthless or hopeless. It might be a part of you that is , um, exhausted or over-functioning, or it might be a part of you that’s sleeping all day.
Really, it can be any feeling or any experience.
And, when you have a sense of that part of you, that you would like to bring some comfort to, just call to mind the last time that it was really active.
And, step one is just noticing how do you notice this part showing up in or around your body?
So, you may notice it as a racing heart. You might notice flushing in your cheeks or constriction in your throat. It might be a headache or a pit in your gut.
Where you might notice it by the emotion that it’s carrying, anxiety, sadness, fear,
or the thoughts that it brings into your mind.
However you’re aware of this part of you, see if it would be comfortable for you to just bring your gentle awareness to this part of you.
No agenda to change it or shifted in any way, just very gently welcoming it.
And if it feels right, even breathing some compassion into this part of you,
it is absolutely. Okay. If you’re not right away connecting with compassion for this part of you, there may be other parts of you that don’t like it that want it to go away or stop doing what it’s doing.
And, if you have concerned parts like that, just let those parts of you know that their concerns are probably really valid.
And, thank them for letting you know what they’re worried about.
And, see if they would sort of step back for a moment, just enough to allow you to be with the initial part that you identified with an open heart, so that you might be able to help it not be so active.
And, then, just stay with the part of you that you’re focusing on breathing and letting your awareness be with it until you really can tap into a sense of open-heartedness.
And, perhaps some compassion or curiosity towards it.
You might get an image of it in your mind’s eye. And if so, there’s no wrong image. It might be a cartoon or a version of yourself or anything at all. Whatever you notice is exactly right for you.
And, once you have a sense of some compassion toward this part of you. Then you’re ready to move on to step two, which is know.
Gently ask this part of you, what it wants you to know about itself.
You might want to ask this part of you, why it got activated when it did, and don’t try to figure it out. Just see if the impression of something comes into your mind.
It may feel right for you to ask this part of you where it first started to feel this way. Or, if it’s a behavior and not a feeling you might want to ask it where it first started to try to help you in this way that it’s trying to help you. And again, don’t try to figure the answer out. Just ask this part of you the question and see if anything comes to mind.
And, if you get a sense of an earlier memory in your life experience, it might be a memory from when you were very young.
Just let this part of you know that you get that it’s been doing this job or feeling this feeling for a really long time.
Let it know that you are here with it and it doesn’t have to be alone with this heavy burden anymore.
You can let this part show you or tell you anything. It wants you to know about what it’s been like for it to have to do this job that it’s doing for you. Or to carry this feeling that it’s been carrying for all these years. And you may notice memories popping up in your mind and just let those memories come and just be a full witness to this part’s story and everything that it wants to show.
And so you probably are getting a series or a sequence of memories from your life where this part of you experienced the same kind of painful situation.
And if so, just let this part of you know that you’re really getting it. You’re really getting how hard it’s been for all these years.
And then whenever it feels like you’ve really completely witnessed that part for now, then you’re ready to move on to step three, which is need.
And in this step, you can just gently ask this part of you, what it needs from you so that it can feel just a little more comforted, a little less activated. A little more at peace.
So again, just ask this part of you. What do you need from me to feel a little bit better? And just wait and see if anything comes to mind.
And so you may have gotten a sense of a couple of different possibilities. You may have noticed that this part of you would, would like something from you and your inner awareness. So it might just like to be welcomed and not shunned or pushed aside. It might like a hug metaphorically from you. Or it might even like something very comforting in your imaginal experience.
It might like a cup of tea or a soft blanket or a comfortable chair to sit in. It might like a little kitten or a dog to pet. I know that might sound a little bit unusual, but often our parts really do have specific internal requests that can help them to feel quite a bit better. So, If you notice something like that, go ahead and arrange for it in your inner awareness. It’s your imagination. So you can really do whatever you want.
The second possibility is that you may have had something come to mind that this part needs from you in your external world.
So you may have noticed that this part would like you to use your voice or set a boundary. Perhaps you got the impression that it would like you to ask for help or say no, or reach out and call a friend.
Maybe it needs you to make a decision or to seek out some wise counsel.
And, if you did notice something that this part of you needs and your external world, and it feels like something you can authentically do and follow through on and go ahead and take a moment and just set an intention to do that for this part of you.
After the meditation time, you may want to take a moment just to journal, whatever that action is that you were going to do so that you can follow through and really help this part of you, in that way.
And if this feels complete, for now, just really extending appreciation and gratitude to this wonderful part of you for being a part of your inner experience and for working so hard for all these years.
If this part of you that you identified didn’t really communicate with you through memories or images, that’s okay, too. That’s not unusual, especially when we’re first starting out with inner work. And, if that was your situation today, just thank this part of you for being present in whatever way it was present.
And perhaps it doesn’t trust very easily, perhaps it needs a little more time before it trusts you enough to communicate with you. And if that’s the case, just think it for its discernment and let it know that it can have as much time with you as it might.
And if you notice that other parts of you also wanted time with you today, had messages they wanted to share with you or needed some comfort from you, just acknowledge those parts of your experience. And let those parts of you know that you can come back to this meditation, which will be posted as a recording as often as you’d like. And, that you can perhaps set an intention to do this meditation with one of them at a future.
And so whenever that feels complete for you, for now, thinking the parts of your inner experience for showing up for you, for being a beautiful, important part of your thriving inner world.
And notice how they feel now after having a little time with you today.
And then as you’re ready, simply reconnecting with your breath, bringing your attention back out from your inner awareness to the room around you, perhaps noticing the support of your chair underneath you.
And whenever you feel ready, gently reopening your eyes.
So, I’m so grateful that he were able to take a few moments with me today to explore this guided meditation and practice this , um, skill of attending to your inner world. It is a pretty cool thing when we discover that we all have many different parts within us and that’s completely normal and that all parts of us are really and truly good.
They’re trying to help us. And , uh, they’re good parts of us, even if they’ve gotten stuck because of trauma feeling or doing some things that aren’t particularly good. And it turns out that moving toward them in this way is actually one of the best ways to help them to heal and to help them to calm down um, so that we have access to our core authentic self from which to really lead our lives.
So, Thank you so much friends. I am so glad you were with me.
If you would like access to a bunch of Move Towardâ„¢ meditations for free. You’re welcome to explore them on my website Jennariemersma.com. Just go to the move toward tab.
And, on the posted recording of this meditation video, there will also be a downloadable worksheet with the three steps of Move Towardâ„¢ to help you , uh, to take with you through your week and in the event that you would like to bring the self-compassion to all the different parts of you at any other time.
So I wish you well. I hope you have a wonderful week. Thank you so much for joining me. And until next time, take care. Bye bye.